Here is Love vast as the ocean, loving kindness as the flood,
when the Prince of life our ransom, shed for us His precious blood.

On the mount of crucifixion fountains opened deep and wide.
Through the flood gates of God’s mercy, flowed a vast and gracious tide.
Grace and love like mighty rivers poured incessant from above,
Heaven’s peace and perfect justice kissed a guilty world in love.

It is the last week of December. The tsunami struck four days ago. Right now 70,000 people are dead. Tommorow that number will grow. Soon disease will set in and more will follow … {read more…}

Last night we went to “A Tranquil Advent Evening” at St. Mark’s Cathedral. The labs were all lit, as were the steps to the altar. There was classical guitar, and peace candles, Gregorian chants, a harp. It was raining outside, as it had been all week. But inside…well…I wasn’t prepared for the sound.

It was as if the wind had decided to roar and sweep only around the cathedral. As if the rest of the city had been abandoned by her touch, that she might rally around this one space, a focal point. Her tendrical arms were weaving and circling only around the deep, quiet nave.

“I am in a ship,” I thought, behind … {read more…}

But you Bethlehem, David’s country, the runt of the litter—from you will come the leader who will Shepherd –rule Israel. His family tree is ancient and distinguished. Meanwhile, Israel will be in foster homes until the birth pangs are over and the child is born, and the scattered brothers come back home to the family of Israel. He will stand tall in his shepherd-rule by God’s strength, centered in majesty of GOD-revealed. And the people will have a good and safe home, for the whole world will hold him in respect –peacemaker of the world. Micah 5:2

On the first day of Advent, and I sat on our window seat in my flannel pajamas. My flannel pajamas … {read more…}

The blog has been silent due to 1)migraines, 2)out of town guests, 3)head colds and 4) that thing you do when you’ve had migraines, out of town guests and head colds, so the house becomes one major disaster area, and no one remembers to pay the bills and oh-by-the-way the camping stuff from last summer hasn’t been put away properly and is stacked in front of the Christmas decorations which the kids want to get out right now!

Oh, and also, when I checked on my blog a week or so ago it had a couple thousand (not kidding) p*rn sites in the comments and so I had to make all my previous entries “closed” to comments – and then spend … {read more…}

I’ve been reading old entries on my blog. Yes, my own blog. I know that’s cheesy – right up there with googling your own name. (Which I’ve also been known to do.) But I’ve been confused lately. I told Neil T. yesterday that I was in metaphysical flux brought on by my birthday, leaving Seattle Vineyard, and an over-booked calendar. I have all these “I wonder” thoughts regarding my future and what I should be throwing my energy into. At the same time I feel bombarded by “you should” thoughts: You should call this person or that. You should start this random project. You should write on this topic.

This bombardment is not usually good news. It means things have … {read more…}

I think about things, a lot of things. Sometimes I can even connect the dots between them. But when it comes to writing them all down, to speaking them out loud to all of you, I feel inadequate and unpracticed. But still, this season inspires me, fall, autumn…the only one that gets two names. It makes me want to try to speak of it somehow.

There is a prayer in one of the Haggadah’s, one of the Jewish prayer books for Passover which says in part, “Blessed are you O Lord Our God, Ruler of the Universe, for giving us seasons of remembrance.” Isn’t fall a great season of remembrance? There are all these summer memories to look back on. The … {read more…}

There’s been a nice long conversation going on in the comments down here. It started as an attempt to find out whether or not (or how) we were supposed to “be like Jesus.” Of course, as lengthy conversations are wont to do, it’s now touching on a bunch of topics including: identity, community, and free will.

There’s some really good stuff down there, including this insightful quote from Lindell, who, as I have said before, is friggin’ brilliant.

But God also needs space to be God. He needs to be able to express himself and he needs us to support him as he lives out his own potential. Or in Christianese, God needs humanity to support his … {read more…}

Eric Keck emailed me today with this in the message line: Get cho ass blogging again woman.

Right. Okay, I needed that. Here it goes.

A few weeks ago we did this at ThPM for “church.”

I had been telling the crew that we were finally going to get serious about consistently doing the ignatian examen, or at least our version of it which I call the examen of light. (Couldn’t dare to do things the standard way now could we? Having made a pet of the anti-conformity bunny and all…) Anyhoo, I was all ready to do the examen, had these pretty floating candle thingies and everything, when my friend Heather talked me … {read more…}

I am the pastor of Room 203. It’s my job to bring these kids the love of Jesus. These are my stories. (You should all make the two-toned sound from Law and Order in your head now: domp-domp)

Lex Rox!

This is me. And this is a mountain and sea of love over me. And I’m thinking that this is what I bring to Room 203. ‘Cuz, you know, incarnation… Jesus… love..I’ve got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart…all that stuff.

Lex painted this for me and it pretty much broke my heart. Lex is my favorite kid in Room 203. I call him Lexi-Loo, which he hates, so I’m trying really hard to stop. Lex has a headful of black curls that are perpetually too long, too tousled, and too tangled. Lex has the soul of an artist and green eyes that could see through your skull. (Don’t bother trying to BS this kid)

Lex is also in trouble a lot.

I’ve made it my duty to touch base with Lex every single day. Sometimes, I commiserate with him when he’s in the Uncooperative Chair (which is often). I was playing with my hot wheel (sniffling) and it was my dad’s hot wheel (a bit hysterical now, because dad doesn’t live at home) and it went in the 176 box!(wailing) (The 176 box is the place where things go and you can’t have them back until the last day of school–day 176.) Sometimes I intercede for him with another kid. Natalie, you say Lex stepped on your toes and he says he didn’t step on your toes. Since its morning and we’re starting fresh let’s just dust our hands off and start fresh okay? No one needs to talk to Mr. C. It’s all good right? Sometimes I try to cut him off at the pass before he gets busted. Lex, karate chopping hands are not for the classroom, right kiddo? But mostly I just tousle his hair and smile at him.

Then one day, he made me this picture and my heart melted.

Later that day I called his Mom and Lex’s voice was on the answering machine. So instead of leaving a message for Mom, I just told Lex how I’d had a great day with him and that I thought he was a great kid. His mom, who I’ve never met, called me back to thank me. I was afraid she would think I was a total weirdo kid-stalker, but instead she said that Lex really needs that right now and that he looked really proud when he heard the message. Then she and I had a great talk. I like her. She’s got spunk. Must be where Lex gets those eyes. That kid slays me. I love him so much!

The Quiet Corner

There is a child curled in the Quite Corner behind the folding screen. She is sobbing, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. I know this child is perky and bright, bilingual but doing better than the other bilingual kids and eager to help them along, a natural leader. I also know her home is very fractured. A step mom and infant brother in another country with grandma. A step dad and birth mom expecting and other baby here soon. Free breakfast, free lunch. Thing are complicated. Today she is crying because last night she broke something of her older sisters: a ceramic ring that sits on top of a light bulb and spreads scent through the room. My mom yelled at me. And she sayed a bad word at me. And she kept saying the bad word at me. And my Dad was watching TV and he just keeped watching the TV. And when we went to bed I sayed to my sister ‘I’m sorry,’ and she wouldn’t say nothing. The heartbreak, betrayal and abandonment in that short paragraph were so big. It floored me, frankly. So I prayed silently. I prayed the same thing I pray often for my own children, “Lord, heal the hurts of this day.” And we talked about how hard it is when a family member isn’t ready to forgive you. I and finally I said, I know someone who helps people forgive one another, and I’m going to ask him to help your sister forgive you and for you to be friends again, okay? I’m going to ask my friend to carry some of the hurt and sadness you are feeling so it won’t feel so heavy to you. I’m going to do that all day, and then you can tell me about it later. The little girl just nodded and held my hand and I patted her back until she calmed down.
About a month later I was in the classroom, roaming around talking to this kid and that kid, when the little girl came up to me and said, Remember when my sister was mad at me? Well we’re friends now! I’m sure they had reconciled long ago, but she suddenly remembered and wanted me to know. It reminded me again about how ministry works. We think we are serving “the world” and “the world” is really blessing us.

Mr. C’s Cheerleader

Room 203 has a male teacher. This is pretty rare, a male kindergarten teacher. Rarer still that this successful MBA would decide to go back to school to learn how to teach five year olds
{read more…}

I love the stuff of ritual, and liturgy, and holy spaces. I love the high holy seasons. If I had any time after my family and ThPM, I would try to make a living consulting with churches and teaching them how to listen to their artists. I would try to show them how to let someone other than the worship team direct worship once in a while. I would show them how to reclaim our historical traditions and breathe new life into them. I would help them discover what the Jews mean when they say that every one of them has actually lived the experience of the Pass-over. I would release the worship of … {read more…}