A Reflection for Christmastide
Recently I watched Kingdom of Heaven. There were three things that struck me about the film. The first was that prior to Christianity’s occupation of Jerusalem, the city was relatively open. Though Muslim controlled, Jews and Christians alike were allowed to come and worship. It was only after the crusades that the city became closed to one faith or the other. Second, I was struck by the way each side of the Muslim-Christian conflict would claim that God had issued their marching orders. This wasn’t news to me – we’ve obviously been doing throughout humankind’s long history. But there was something about seeing the various generals crying out “God wills it!” or “Allah wills it!” that brought the reality home to me in new way. Finally, I was left with one particularly memorable scene in which the Muslim and Christian armies are throwing themselves at one another, so bent upon destruction they become completely stuck, bottled neck at the one available gate, a human log jam. It was sickening really, nearly enough to make me give up on organized religion all together, seeing as it so often is co-opted by this insatiable drive to destroy and self-destruct.
At one point in the film, them main character, played by Orlando Bloom, makes a decision. He will not ally himself with a God or faith, but with humanity, with God’s created children. He will do whatever it takes – including giving up control of Jerusalem, giving up “the kingdom of heaven” – if it means salvation for the families in his care. It’s incredibly insightful and deeply honorable.
I know the message of the film is obvious. I know it’s manipulative in the way that big Hollywood blockbusters always are. I know the “history” here (what there is of it) is over simplified and unrealistic. Still, I cannot help but be struck by this character’s wisdom. How often have we misunderstood the kingdom of God? How often have we mislabeled the place where it exists? How often have we been blinded by power? How often have we placed ideology above reality?
There are characters in this film who are sincere religious men, dedicated to following the ways of God, of Allah. And there are those who use religious language to thinly veil a lust for power. I admired those, Islamic and Christian alike, who sincerely desired to follow their Lord. The more I get to know people of other faiths—both through art and in person — the more I see beauty and wisdom there.
This Advent and Christmas, as I let this film distill in my memory, I found myself saying this:
“I could ally myself with any prophet, follow any wise sage, learn from any guru. I choose this one.”
What does that say about me–that I knowingly and repeatedly choose this one? A baby in a manager. A carpenter king. A crazy man on a crowded hill. A dead man on a cross. Perhaps it means, in all honestly, that I am not too smart. Perhaps it means that I am deluded, overly emotional, too easily swayed by tradition and heritage. Or perhaps is means that deep calls to deep, that knowledge sometimes surpasses reason, that many decisions are made primarily by the heart.
I want very little to do with Christianity. Like Judah and Israel in the time of Jeremiah, we are –Protestants and Catholic alike –a people who have lost their way. We seek the wrong things; we lie with the wrong mates. I haven no interest in defending what we call Christianity today. The only action I take in connection to Christianity these days is to make confession, to ask forgiveness, and to seek restitution and restoration with those Christianity has harmed. But Jesus, Jesus I love. Jesus I ally with. And his kingdom, the real kingdom of heaven, is what I want more than anything. It’s so very hard to see Jesus anymore, in the midst of all this Christendom. But may we seek him, may we find him. May it be so.
Amen.
You’ve written:
“I want very little to do with Christianity. Like Judah and Israel in the time of Jeremiah, we are –Protestants and Catholic alike –a people who have lost their way. We seek the wrong things; we lie with the wrong mates. I haven no interest in defending what we call Christianity today. The only action I take in connection to Christianity these days is to make confession, to ask forgiveness, and to seek restitution and restoration with those Christianity has harmed. But Jesus, Jesus I love. Jesus I ally with. And his kingdom, the real kingdom of heaven, is what I want more than anything. It’s so very hard to see Jesus anymore, in the midst of all this Christendom. But may we seek him, may we find him. May it be so.”
My question is: Then, why are you so obsessed with Christianity. Why don’t you just leave it and leave it alone? Who asked “you” to defend Christianity? That’s a little presumptuous isn’t it? No wonder you have migraines.
You said that you have no interest in defending Christianity, but one has to ask if you are one of those who you are critiquing and feeling the need not to defend? It seems to me that you borrow their language but are obviously not one of them, so why are you concerned about defending them.
How did you become the ambassador for all of Christendom? And how could you make restitution and restoration? What spiritual or material resources will you draw upon? Finally,
This post is so sentimental that it is obviously of human origin.
wow. i just spent the better part of an hour responding to bostic and wordpress refused it and deleted it. yikes.
i won’t be able to rewrite it. my time for these things if just too limited.
suffice it to say
1) please don’t throw my health in my face. blog post-ers have now attributed my migraines to 1)adultery 2)practicing witchcraft and 2) ambassadorship — none of which I’ve done or claimed to have done. being in status migranosis is like being in chemo. it’s unloving to treat someone who is this sick with coldness or a lack of compassion. cut it out.
2) i don’t want to defend Christianity, I want to pledge myself to Jesus. those are often two very different things. the kingdom of God is about servanthood, not power. i’m trying to learn what that looks like in real life.
3) if you are seriously asking, my spiritual and material resources for this journey are: scripture, history, tradition, reason, instinct, art, study, prayer, rites/rituals, fasting, feasting, meditation, confession, restitution, community, mentorship, and companionship
4) to deny our sentimentality and our humanity is to deny our very selves…so thanks for the compliment!
Shalom,
Rachelle
Hi Rachelle,
I wonder if the wordsmith incident is an omen. First, I will stop mentioning your health; I don’t mean to be unloving. It’s just that the weight of all these thoughts placed on one set of human shoulders or processed through one human mind seems enough to make one’s head and another part hurt. It’s a bit melodramatic and reminds me of Zora Neale Hurston’s writing about southern folks, in small towns, passing the world through their mouths and solving all of its problems. It’s a wonderful image that exposes the presumption of the exercise without belittling the participants. In many ways, she was poking fun at all of us. In just as many ways, I’m being just as presumptuous in addressing and being critical of you.
You comments elicited a sentimental response in me. So, embedded in my smart assed questions is a loving question, which I’m having a hard time formulating.
You have written, “i don’t want to defend Christianity, I want to pledge myself to Jesus.” It seems to me that a lot of what you are dealing with or writing about seems angst about Christianity. It just seems a little crazy. It’s like hating yourself. If you love Jesus, then you are a Christian and a part of Christianity. A person who hates himself or herself is sick, but I digress. Here are the questions I’m trying to formulate.
How can Rachelle be who she is (a non-Christian) without worrying about Christianity? How would she define what she is and what Christianity is? How could she do this defining work in a way that would set her free and set us free? [You see, I view myself as a part of the imperfect community, which spans throughout a large part of recorded history, and I have embraced it with all its flaws.] I have bounded what I would view as the church with all its flaws as a historical entity and the invisible Church with all its flaws as the body of Christ in the world. I see your distinction between powerful institutions and persons versus the spiritual pursuit of Jesus as a false one.
You wrote:
“3) if you are seriously asking, my spiritual and material resources for this journey are: scripture, history, tradition, reason, instinct, art, study, prayer, rites/rituals, fasting, feasting, meditation, confession, restitution, community, mentorship, and companionship.”
Yes, I’m serious and beneath my mocking tone is an important question. Based on your posts, it seems to me that as a finite person who is busy with those in her life, that “to make confession, to ask forgiveness, and to seek restitution and restoration with those Christianity has harmed” is quite an undertaken, considering your migraines in all. Now, I’m not throwing your health in your face, but my God talk about ambition. In some ways, it seems a sign of some sort of personality dysfunction. Like to equate oneself to Moses or John the Baptist or Deborah. That is unless God has called you to that. And if so, if He has called you—as he has all of us—then he will empower to do all these powerful and sacred things. This just seems so funny, because dealing with my own sin, which is covered in His blood, is more than overwhelming. I would hate to think I needed to take care of the whole body of Christ. Many of these offenses did not come from us anyway. I’ve rambled to long….
You wrote:
“4) to deny our sentimentality and our humanity is to deny our very selves…so thanks for the compliment!” Of course, this is true, but one does not have to be connected to Jesus to have these kinds of overwhelming feelings. Many bleeding heart liberals have the same kind of angst, guilt, etc.
So something of the post reminds me of the scenario in Luke 11: 27-28:
As he was speaking, a [sentimental] woman in the crowd called out, “God bless your mother…and the breasts that nursed you!”
He replied, “But even more blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.”
In the end, we can’t love Jesus and hate His bride nor hold her in contempt. Either you are for us or against us, but I just wish that you could make peace with one of those positions.
Rachelle, you have more patience and gentleness than I do. No wonder you have migraines!
Bostic,
Rachelle has made a great response to you, so I wont go back over her points. The only one I cant resist adding to is this…
You said : This post is so sentimental that it is obviously of human origin.
I immadiatly thought of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. Now that’s a sentimenal act. But Jesus blessed her, defended her and rebuked the cricial onlookers.
Scott,
Great confession for a pastor. How is it that all these pm bloggers claim to be pastors without saying much about their churches within the context of that pronouncement? Whatever, I’m certain that Rachelle is mustering up all the patience that she has…
Jenn,
Don’t movies tend to elicit some emotional response? There is a difference between emotion and sentimentality. One is an adjective and the other is a noun. Sentimental: an attitude or feeling toward something: an “opinion.” Or a thought influenced by emotion.
Your comment exemplifies what I mean about human understanding (or of human origin): everything being treated in some universal or systematic sense. Something being understood in human terms. Obviously, Jesus drew a distinction between these two women. These distinctions were not made by Jesus at the moment but is recorded by his difference responses.
He sharply rebuked the former, in an embarrassing manner, by stating that one has to move past one’s emotion to actual obedience to God’s word. He agreed that his mother was blessed, in a sense, for facilitating his natural birth. But, implied that she and others who did not take his commands seriously and move past the initial excitement of receiving the message (maybe Mary was in this category for a while) were not really as blessed as he intended them to be. There is a strong admonition there for us all. It’s obvious that there was something else going on with the woman who washed Jesus feet. She didn’t have many grand proclamations; she wasn’t trying to draw attention to herself by saying something profound, witty or touching. Instead, she was consumed and overwhelmed with Him to the point of worshipping him in an act that totally broke every rule and brought dishonor on herself—not honor. One was a talker and the other was a silent agent. Often, our words defile the sacredness of a revelation or a moment. Quick and compulsive words can reveal our superficiality. Peter is a great example of this…You know the scripture, “the more the words, the less the meaning.” But, scripture and Jesus commend the foot washer for her act of love, not her words.
What do you think the difference is? I would hazard to say that the difference could be found in the parable of the sower.
Rachelle - Your post says so much of where I am, and your response does too. My writing well has dried up since being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. In the last few weeks I have asked the Spirit to open my heart in this area, and speak to my condition. It is just one little bit in the puzzle, but your response to bostic was illuminating for me. I have wept with my sister, who has had RA since she was 6, because of the pain in her life from others, mostly those who call themselves christians, accusing her, of some the things you have listed and many others, including lack of faith. Sunday morning, I shared with my family that I feel paralyzed, there is movement happening right now in me because of what you have written. Thank you.
Rachelle
I have a friend who sat next to an angry soldier, on his way back to Iraq, on a long plane ride. As they talked, he accused her - “all church people are hypocrites.” “Look,” she replied, “Everyone’s a hypocrite! But in my faith community, we’re trying to acknowledge it, at least. And maybe even do something about it.”
We’re all a mass of contradictions (if not, as my friend said, in her moment of passion, hypocrisies) - but at least in YOUR faith community - those gathered around your writing, those gathered in your home - you’re trying to acknowledge it and maybe even do something about it.
Is it crazy-making to love Jesus and to be disgusted with the imperfect church too many power-hungry generations have created? Of course it is. But isn’t it also crazy-making to try to follow Jesus in living with simplicity surrounded by luxury, trying to love surround by hatred and fear, trying to create real communities and familes when everything in culture threatens to pull those things apart? Of course it is. But that’s what we’re doing anyway. Because we know it’s even crazier NOT to do these things.
Being a human in relationship with God isn’t rational or linear or clear. It’s messy and terrifying and chaotic - and lovely because of it.
Thanks being a prophet of the imperfect path to Christ’s feet.
You are so treasured and loved.
Beautiful post, Rachelle. Thanks for putting it in words for us.
Peace.
Wow, Rachelle,
So much to say…
First to you - That last paragraph sums up what I’ve been holding in my heart for months now. I think it actually takes a true love for the church to point out how dangerously she has gone wrong. Next, to Bostic. I find you so typical of certain bloggers who love to engage in righteous sounding theological arguments, carrying on long discussions in comment sections around the blogosphere. After awhile it sounds like so much tinny noise, and what have you actually accomplished?
Staunch defenders of the church begin to sound like the spouse of the alcoholic, scolding the kids for being “disrespectful” to the drinker.
You know this, of course, but be careful of taking too much of your history from Hollywood, Rachelle. Life for Christians under Islam has never been as free and open as some would have you believe. Even the bit in the movie about Saladin giving the Christians a free pass to leave Jerusalem when he took the city is historically inaccurate. If you could afford to pay a hefty bribe, you were allowed to leave unharmed. Otherwise, you were considered booty or sword-fodder. Check out Runciman’s history of the crusades for more accurate depictions of the era. And if you’re not familiar with her, I suggest you pick up a title or two from B’at Yeor, an Egpytian Christian writer (Coptic or Orthodox, I’m not sure) who has put her life on the line to write about the realities of dhimmitude in the Muslim world. Here’s a link for one of her titles:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0838639437/monkfishabbey-20
Though I certainly don’t appreciate the tone of his first comment, or all of his sentiments, I can’t help but relate to some of bostic’s frustrations. Don’t buy into the self-hatred. It’s not a sin or something regrettable to be a Christian and call ourselves by His name. Christ chose the twelve, and yet one of them betrayed him. It’s not like Peter or the others decided it was better to throw off the whole endeavor since it had produced a Judas. But that’s the joy of the Church, that despite our brokenness and diseases of the heart and soul, God unites us to Himself and makes us His Church, members of His own incarnate Body, which is “the pillar and ground of Truth” and “the fullness of Him who fills all things” –as St Paul wrote.
God bless.
Phyllis,
Your comments make me snicker. If I am making a “tinny noise” then I wonder how to characterize your sound. But, you ask a good question for both of us: what have we accomplished?
It seems to me that all of your “type,” whatever your type or my type is, are unable to respond to a self-affirming post beyond:
“Thanks being a prophet of the imperfect path to Christ’s feet.
You are so treasured and loved.”
or
“Beautiful post, Rachelle. Thanks for putting it in words for us.
Peace.”
These comments make me ask: What has Rachelle accomplished? Is this the best her community can come up with? It’s sort of a mindless postmodern drivel. One can find them on all of your post. Simply blowing kisses towards one another.
Jennifer writes:
“Is it crazy-making to love Jesus and to be disgusted with the imperfect church too many power-hungry generations have created? Of course it is. But isn’t it also crazy-making to try to follow Jesus in living with simplicity surrounded by luxury, trying to love surround by hatred and fear, trying to create real communities and familes when everything in culture threatens to pull those things apart? Of course it is. But that’s what we’re doing anyway. Because we know it’s even crazier NOT to do these things.”
I like this a little bit better, but it doesn’t get much further from the two lined pm mantra, it’s redundant, it’s a cliché, so why bother to say anything? Affirmations are great, but is that all you have to offer one another. And is that all rachelle trying to accomplish. My hope is that she is posing a challenge to someone who may not see the world in the same way that she does. But, I’m just guessing.
Furthermore, let’s think about this statement with just a little thought. Have we had to wait 2000 years for you all to lead us in “trying to create real communities and familes when everything in culture threatens to pull those things apart?” Really, how arrogant. Haven’t humans been working on this project for all of human history-with or without–Christianity. Can this statement bear critical examination on any level?
I’ve said alot, but I don’t know if my words have fallen on deaf ears. It just seems that many of the folks here are unable to engage them. It seems to me that it is not uncommon thing to have an emotional response to a half-way decent movie. Rachelle’s response is almost programmed (moreover, it’s very modern). In short, the post is un-illuminating. Again, these formulaic Hollywood movies are written in order to have such an impact. In light of the Post-911 and Iraq war, this movie provides an obvious liberal moral to illicit a response that has nothing to do with Jesus per se.
Many of my questions remain unanswered. Most likely, Rachelle is unable to disaggregate the irrationality of her position, which is different from a contradiction. Why claim to be a Christian to legitimize your destructive deconstruction of Christ’s body. Most important, Jesus is not disgusted with His Church. He loves her. Only Satan hates and accuses the church. That’s the bible. Satan is the accuser of the brethren. You can’t love me and hate my wife or kids.
Moving me from 11 to 12 disrupts my argument. That’s cool, because DI gets at what I’m trying to say with conciseness and precision.
The Kingdom of God is within us, ie Christ in us the hope of glory. All the power seekers have created a world which allows diverse people with all kinds of idea to exercise the freedom of speech and even have the choice to live with simplicity or poverty. Thus, we criticize ourselves when we criticize them. Isn’t blogging an exercise in power? Wasn’t moving me from 11 to 12 a subtle form of censorship and deception. A powermove
bostic,
i didn’t move anyone. that’s how wordpress processed the posts. all i did was click “approve” on everything waiting for me in my email, as I always do.
got to go. life awaits.
Cool,
I’ve been a bit of a shitz, nevertheless, bless you. BTW-I happen to love Glamour or any other quality fashion mag.
That last part might sound respond, but it’s in response to your most recent post.
I think it’s prefectly possible to love Jesus and have no desire to be a Christian. I and some of my friends have done if for years. Jesus didn’t exist to create Christianity. He came to save, love and teach.
Rachelle, a friend put me on to your blog today. Your words on this post moved us both and started a great conversation. Thanks.
By the way, it was total BS to bring up the migraine thing.
Ambassadorship causes migraines? *confuzzled*
I think it’s Matthew 5–Jesus says that you’re supposed to pray hidden away in your room. That public displays of piety are, um, unpleasing to the Lord? Sermon on the mount stuff. There’s also a verse in 7 about how killing people in His name isn’t going to get anyone into Heaven.
*shrugs*
Trissa,
Certainly, it’s more than possible to have an appreciation for Jesus and to not be a Christian. Muslims, for just one example, fit that description. But if you’re going to take history seriously and the New Testament scriptures seriously (like Rachelle seems to want to), then you don’t have room to be noncommittal. Just for beginners, the scriptures and the Church tell us that Christ is not simply a good teacher, but the summation and recreation of the world, and that the Church is His Body and His Bride.
The alternative is to use Christ as a mere placeholder to refer to a plattitude or nice idea of your own choice (”be nice to others”). But that’s not what the martyrs shed their blood for.
What really matters in life is not whether you live or die, but what you live for, and what you’re willing to die for. Who would die for a cipher? No one.
I’m feeling that last comment by Douglas.
Bostic, the problem is that most of us came from the church. Sure, Jesus may love the bride and we do too, but what happens when the wife starts slapping around the kids, abusing the houdehold goods and spreading rumors about the neighbors she doesn’t like?
That probably sounds quite childish and a trite metaphor to you, but the problem is that we’ve been there. We sat with the bride and dined at her table, waiting for the groom. The groom never came. We, the guests asked, “Where is the groom?” and the bride only said “Oh, don’t worry, He’s coming, you’re just being impatient.”
But we waited and we waited. I don’t care about institutions. You cite 2000 years of building the church, I see old cathedrals in Europe falling down. The world has changed, and Christianity wasn’t prepared for it.
So the guests of the banquet are looking outside now for the groom, since the bride refuses to.