Surge of Anger
Looking at my RX bottles, sitting there so smug on the bathroom counter fresh from thier mailing bag, I felt a surge of anger. A moment later I was sane and practical. “A lot of people take daily meds,” my inner reasoned person said, “it’s no big deal.” But for a moment I was pissed — angry at the brokeness in my body, at my over active mind, my hyper funtioning synods. I was tired of ruining my liver with shit that comes with warning labels and child resistant caps.
That moment was vital. It was real. So I document it here.
I feel the same anger at my aging body and the constantly having to work at keeping myself alive and healthy enough to finish raising three kids born late in my life.
amen sister! rant away and then pass the Rx! thank god there are some folks who work to figure out ways to tame our overly rapid minds and battered bodies, psyches and souls… but wouldn’t it be nice if child resistant caps were an unnecessary part of the daily-ness of life.
with you on a visceral level!
child proof caps
R-
I recently started teking meds for my over-active-under-stimulated mind. It has been interesting the emotions that I can now feel, without my mind getting in the way.
As for the caps- I don’t mind so much!
i wondered if maybe god wanted me to feel “just the way he made me”…depressed, cynical, hopeless. where my meds changing who i REALLY, fundamentally was? altering my true personality? yes, i thought this despite being a nurse and knowing about neurotransmitters and chemical imbalances. i did get over this, thanks to my husband and excellent humanist-jewish physician who pointed out that god led folks to create drugs which allow our selves to emerge from the murk and mess.
but one thing for our emerging church to really work on is mental health; we’ve (in the huge broad sense) really screwed up on this one. many patients in our practice are not getting even basic counseling or meds for fear of repercussions from God or their church. adults are one thing, but we have some teens that are a mess…in need of more than prayer.
That moment is a question flung at God…
r~ i have cancer . . . i can relate . . .