Even When I Don’t Understand….

Posted in Postmodern Theology, Rites & Rituals | March 25th, 2005 at 6:34 pm

The whole concept of the atonement has been giving me problems lately. Nevertheless, I remain woven together with Jesus. This prayer moves me to tears. It’s from the Children’s Stations of the Cross service at St. Mark’s Cathedral on Good Friday. We’d been standing with our arms out to the side and our eyes closed while someone passed a sponge with vinegar under our noses…

Jesus, we have let our arms drop because our muscles were tired. We remember that your body relaxed as you gave your spirit to God and died on the cross. We try to understand why all of these terrible things happened to you but we don’t really understand. We just know it is part of the mystery of your love for us.

3 Responses to “Even When I Don’t Understand….”

  1. anj Says: (March 26th, 2005 at 2:18 pm)

    Thanks for this…this Easter season has been hard for me. A month or so ago, I was sure I heard the Spirit whisper “open your arms and live in the wound”. It was in the midst of a visual experience of the crucifixion during centering in meeting for worship. This prayer brings me to tears today. I know the crucifixion is important, I don’t know why….and I know if I found out tomorrow that it was not real, it would not change my faith. The mystery of His love is hard for me to grasp. I don’t like mystery…and yet I want to know more. Thanks.

  2. Connie Knighton Says: (March 29th, 2005 at 10:44 pm)

    Yes, atonement has resonated with me for years. I prefer the notion of Christ’s identification with our sufferings and our weakness of body. The prayer you quoted richly implies an identification which is works two ways.

  3. J Says: (April 6th, 2005 at 1:34 pm)

    Rachelle,

    “The whole concept of the atonement has been giving me problems lately.”

    This isn’t suprising. The spiritual practices you follow are putting you in danger. “Empty-mind” or ego-silencing forms of meditation have a spiritual side effect: they vacate the “house” that you are so that another intelligence can “come in”, unnoticed by the (absent) owner.

    One of the first things that is done is to rework the theology centers — and the doctrine of the atonement is the crucial one they must ultimately go for, since everything hangs on that.

    There is more “out there”, spiritually, than just good stuff. Evil can be incredibly beautiful sometimes. (2 Cor 11:4,14)

    Sorry to disturb you, but I felt obligated to warn you.

    God bless you, sister.