Well I’m getting ready for the Emergent Convention. This is my first convention to present at, so I’m a little nervous. At first I was afraid that I wouldn’t have enough material. But now that I’ve started working on it, I feel pretty good about it.

I’m facilitating a seminar (medium sized) called “We Speak Art: Rituals and celebrations from a NeoMonastic Postmodern Tribe.” In Nashville I’ll do a second seminar as well, “Modeling Missional Living: Leaving the castle and living in the real world” I also get to help out with a couple of the Critical Concern Courses, with Kelly Bean and Jim Henderson. And best of all, Jen Lemen is going to come and be my roommate. Can I just tell you that I am so SO excited! We talk almost every week, but we haven’t seen each other since last spring! Plus, this way I can ride on her coattails and meet lots of fascinating people from blogdom. (We were hoping to get a suite and have a lovely little blog-vention of our own. Alas, we are too broke…but you can still come camp out with us and eat yummy things in our hotel room. I’m packing my travel candles and a bottle opener…)

Anyway, all this outlining and gathering of slides and speaking points and such has got my brain gears cranking. It’s done a couple of good things for me. So I thought I’d just brain dump it all out in no particular order.

1) We did a sh@!load of stuff last year. I mean, no kidding, we were busy! Aside from hosting a gathering every week at ThPM; we made massive amounts of small-scale art; a decent amount of full-bore art projects; threw at least a half a dozen parties; gathered in dozens of neighbors for things like chili and ice cream and brew; co-hosted one fairly large alt.worship service; made a parade with other artists in our community; and attended one raging party to celebrate the winter solstice. On top of this we spent quite a bit of time practicing practices like lectio divina, the ignatian examen, centering and encircling prayer, and compassion. So I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on myself for the things I haven’t finished…like a decent Eucharistic ritual, our ThPM prayer book, the Monkfish Abbey website, an updated “who we are” statement, or a more clearly demarcated neomonastic ‘rule.’ It’s funny, because normally these are the things that would have come first – mission statements and books of common prayer and conduct guildelines, and the like. But in the postmodern world things grow more organically. The praxis comes first, and then you figure out the theory behind it. Or maybe you never totally figure out the theory behind it, you just keep shaping the praxis and you let it morph so that it slowly dawns you….there’s truth behind the actions.

2) For me, it’s all about being missional…or maybe as Dwight would have me say, it’s all about be incarnational. I have friends in ministry who like to do things for already-Christians. They are into making places for retreat and refreshment for burned out ministers. Or they throw big alt.worship parties for teens and twentysomethings so they find a way to worship that fits them (and then they won’t leave the church.) Or they really have a heart for scripture or theology so they pour themselves into study and preaching and lecturing and PhD programs. Or they’d really like to help evangelicals make the switch to emergent theology and practice. I respect and admire all these things. I really do. I’m just not interested in doing any of them.
I want the crazy neopagans. I want the people who are longing for something bigger then themselves and are willing to make big-time fools out of themselves to find it. I want the PolyPhonic Spree people who want to unleash joy, and the belly dancers who understand the chest-aching beauty and wonder that is the female-made-in-God’s-image-form. I want the wannabe thespians who spend hours orchestrating plays about how the sun was birthed to bring light. I want the moderately dehydrated desert dwelling artists, willing to give up wallets-full of money and all their vacation time to pay homage to man burning giving himself up for loss. I really don’t care about discipling youth group, or getting Christians to be more holy, or helping people be “accountable” to their “quite time” with Jesus. It’s just not in my genetics. But tell me you’re thirsty, and damn if I won’t run around with you looking for something that you can swill down in great gulps. Or at least, that’s my intention. I don’t always know how to do it, but I’m determined to learn how.
So here’s the big revelation…I guess that means I’m not really much of a pastor. A pastor takes care of the folks already in the sheepfold. But I want to be out there looking under the thorn bushes. Course, I also want to be a fantastic host, and a good friend. I think I’m okay at those things. But I’d also like to be a spiritual director and a good mentor – I just don’t know if those are in the cards for me. Or maybe they are, and it just looks so different from the way those things have always been presented that I don’t really see it? At any rate, I know my life in not inside the church. Does that mean I don’t deserve my ordination? Heckivino. I guess really, outside from doing weddings and getting my foot in the door for speaking gigs, what do I really need an ordination for any how? Seems like for what I’m doing…which Lindell describes as ‘being human’…seems like it’s enough to have a fire in the belly and the willingness to rearrange my life to act on it.

3) If you are going to pastor, or plant a church, or cultivate a community, or be the abbess of an urban neomonastic order, it really really helps if you don’t need any money.
…… Actually, you know what, I’m out of steam and my head really hurts. So I’ll have to write about that one later.

Mmmmm, feels good to have a little bit of clarity…especially when you are basically a crazy person. Bye!