Confessions of a Slacker Mom
I am so off to Barnes and Nobel to buy this book! (I tried to put the little picture off Amazon onto my blog, but it was all fuzzy. How do people do that?)
I’ve been on a book buying freeze because of budgetary limitations. But….Quest Church gave me a BIG gift certificate to Barnes and Nobel, just for preaching there last Sunday. (It always surprises me when people basically pay me to write.) So woo hoo! Bookstore extravaganza!
Not that I’ve finished the big stack I bought at Vandwater’s or anything. (She grins sheepishly). I just really need some permission to not freak out about my kids.
See, I do this thing with my friend Heather where we ask each other about our greatest area of consolation and desolation everyday. (Read more about this practice here.) And on Tuesday, my greatest desolation was that there is nothing in my life that is not stressful. Paul asked me that Monday night, “Is there anything in your life that doesn’t cause you stress?” All I could come up with was, 1) hanging with Josh and Tonya, and 2) writing — except for I stress about finding the time to do that, so Paul says you can’t sperate the two so it still counts as a stresser. Tuesday I was attentive to what was causing me stress, and the biggest thing is my kids. Namely, how I interact with my kids. I’m constantly worried about what the next conflict is going to be; how long will we have at the grocery story before they wig out; whether there’s going to be a big fight over why Cate can’t wear her high-healed “clip clop” shoes to the fabric store; which one’s going to stonewall me over nap time, etc. etc. etc. I had a realization which I seem to have periodically–”Who’s running this joint anyway? Mommy is obviously not the boss.”
So Wednesday I clearly but calmly started cracking down. Ask me something in a gigantic whinning voice — go on a time out. Yell at me “I don’t want to live in this house” while you go to your time out–well you get that rare Mee-Chapman household occurance, the dreaded spanking. Act like a she-demon after we turn of PBS–well, no morning TV for the rest of the Summer. (I should know that by now, but I just love an uninterrupted shower.) Furthermore, what you can do for yourself, you will so stop yelling at me from room to room! (Ohmigod, I am becoming my mother!)
I did all that stuff yesterday, and you know what? The day was great. Eden did a bunch of stuff for herself — like clean out her drawers and put her laundry away. She felt really proud of herself. Cate was on the time-out step every five minutes, but you know what, by the evening she had stopped whinning every request for me. We actually had a good enough day that we were able to go to movies on the spur of the moment in the afternoon.
Then Paul emailed me this book and I thought “Ah ha! A guide on the road to further sanity!” So, hiho hiho, it’s off the Barnes and Nobel I go….
This sounds like a book I need!!
I can’t even begin to express what an issue this has been for us too. My mentor has me reading ‘Boundaries With Kids’ which brings up all kinds of stuff that I need to deal with for myself, alongside the parenting stuff I need to work on. I could use a book that doesn’t require me to be so serious (in addition, not in place of the serious stuff). Thanks for mentioning it.
how to clip pictures:
right click on the image, when the grey window shows up go down to properties. click on it, then copy the URL of the image and post it into your blog.
i just learned how to do this so i thought i’d pass it on!
Okay, I’m back from B&N. In spite of the cool title, “Confessions of a Slacker Mom” wasn’t that good. However, “The Three Martini Playdate” is hilarious, and even mildly helpful in the practical tips department. I didn’t buy it b/c I read most of it in the bookstore. (It’s a quick read.) But, if anyone is Sea wants to pass it around the Mom network, I’ll pick it up and we can laugh laugh laugh (and shake our heads at our over PC parenting selves) together.
R
I just saw that one when I followed your link to Amazon … Ok, how hilarious!
“The Three-Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting”
I can do with some “Happy Parenting.” Haven’t had a martini since pre-pregnancy.
I loved “making kids mind without losing yours” by kevin lehman, and “getting out of your kids faces and into their hearts” by valerie bell. Both taught me to trust my gut with parenting. I had to learn how to parent from books, and i was determined to not lose myself in the process. and to be able to have fun with them, even when we were in public.
I’m a slacker mom in a neighborhood of perfect moms. It can be a little unnerving to explain that my kids weren’t enrolled in any programs this summer because they wanted lots of unstructured time to watch TV, play videogames, build with Legos and learn what to do when you get bored.
Something that really helped me with disciplining my kids, and I’m terrible at it, was doing a family mission statement. I read about it in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. I know. A true slacker mom would never read such a book, but the mission statement really was helpful.
Happy book shopping!
Karen