Ouch
I haven’t been blogging much lately. I’ve been functioning with a migraine for the past five days or so. I have chronic migraines — sometimes every day for months. Some days it’s not too bad. Other days I’m awash in pain (from the migraine) and dizziness (from the drugs). It’s 9:40 am and my head is already a thick gray wad of pain. This is not a good sign. And I’m taking my darling six-year-old back to school shopping today with her grandmother. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through it.
I thought I’d check in on the blogging world, maybe peek at my email, but now I wish I hadn’t. It’s probably just the pain speaking, but it seem like everything I receive or read on-line these days is just so combative and depressing. People send me emails slamming Bush, or Kerry, depending on the sender. Bloggers are still fighting about whether or not it’s okay to try to change the church, or whether the church even needs to be changed, or what the word c-h-u-r-c-h even means. A colleague sends me nervous mail about gay marriage.
One of these days I’d just like to open my email and see a love note, you know? Some positive little story about life and how it went well; about reformation and what feels good about it; about me and how I’m going to survive these adventures I’ve engaged in (parenting, fighting the dragon called Migraine, forming a neo-monastic order, learning to live missionally.)
I know the happy posts are out there. I know some people use email to talk to friends about friendly stuff. Like I said, it’s probably just the pain speaking.
I miss writing. I wish I felt better.
it’s true.
everyone’s crabby. mostly me.
sigh.
Either that or we are in some kind of collective madness that prevents our reaching out to those in need, like Rachelle.
Consider this a reaching out, Rachelle–it will pass. The positive, loving ones are out there.
Go to ground for as long as you need.
i’m sorry for your pain. back to school shopping with even the sweetest 6 year old (and i have one of my own) is enough to give me a migrane, i can’t even imagine starting out the day that way. consider yourself hugged. hope you feel better.
I miss your writing, I wish you felt better too.
And, i’m with Peter go to ground for as long as you need, I’ll be here when you are able to come back.
You’re not alone. I said to my hubby the other day that lately, after I’ve finished my morning surf of the blogosphere I feel totally depressed, and convinced that so and so’s insight into a certain emotional pain MUST be the missing piece in my healing journey that would unlock my stuck places if only I wasn’t in such a state of denial. I count myself as one of the so and so’s, btw. I’m struggling with this one.
I’m sorry you’re hurting Rachel. I’m praying…
It’s Olympic time and there are gold medals aplenty. Well, I think every mother deserves a gold medal (particularly when they have migraines).
Consider one conferred upon you today Rachelle!
I don’t know if this will be helpful or not. In all honesty, I don’t agree with a lot of what I read here; BUT I know what it’s like to be thouroughly confused and in the middle of the maelstrom, waiting for a little light.
I pray for you a lot [and no, I don’t pray that you’ll end up agreeing with me
] and hope that you continue in an honest search for truth. Hang on; it will get better. Hold close to God and don’t let go.
[and now, for happy life stories: recently, I’ve been hired by my favorite professor and his family to paint some rooms for their kids. I did an Atlantis theme in their playhouse, and then sponged purple paint, and pink-and-yellow flowers and butterflies in the girls’ bedroom. Creating is so wonderful, and even more so when you get to suit it to the one it’s meant for. Just last night, ,I designed and sewed an outfit for my roommate. It’s so wonderful to see people’s faces when they see themselves reflected in the thing you make for them. Their faces start to glow, and their eyes light up…it’s really wonderful. ]
There is a lot of intense discussion going out there in the blogosphere. I think that with the election coming up and major changes in a variety of churches going on, that things are at a bit of a fever pitch right now. It can get crazy when the Holy Spirit stirs things up.
But here’s a little love note and prayers for your headaches.
Love,
Karen