Ten Minute Power Blog
All the random stuff I can think of in ten minutes:
-I think ThPM has been decompressing from “church life.” We’re decompressed now. Time for something different.
-Living a post-modern incarnational life means shedding a lot of old stuff. Like Eustace in Voyage of the Dawn Treader. You’ve got to take off a lot of layer of dragon skins. The final one only Aslan can tear off, and it hurts, and afterwards when you jump in the water, it stings. I keep thinking I’ve got the last layer off and I’m out from under things that restricted me and didn’t reflect who I really am meant to be (with Christ incarnate in my chest.) But then I see there is another layer of dragon scales, another unreality to shed. It’s exhausting.
-I think the conservative evangelical church taught me a lot of basics. But I also think they (untentionally) brainwashed me. The problem with being brainwashed (however benevolently) is that you don’t really know which parts are brainwash-y and which parts are true….or are the things you think are true still parts of the brainwash? Those things you think are true, but your background says are “heresy” or “worldly,” are those things really negative things — or is it just the brainwash talking? And please, don’t give me the Weslyan Quadrangle. Reason — how do I know if I’m being reasonable? Who’s version of reason — the Western world? The Eastern World? Who? Scripture. V. difficult to figure out. (Is it History or Tradition? Well either way…Lots of different pieces of advice there. Tradition. Who’s tradition?) Inspiration? Well, that’s pretty tough to discern sometimes. Or is it? Maybe that part’s brainwashing too…. “Private Chapman. Private Rachelle Chapman. Private Rachelle Elaine Mee-Chapman.”
-I think that I don’t want church any more. I don’t want a service or a study or really even a worship set. I don’t want it in church building, I don’t want it in a house. What I really want is a life, a rhythm of living that has space to be with people, a life that nurtures my soul and the soul of others. I can’t quite seem to achieve that.
Ten minutes are up. Time to go play with the adorable girlie girl.
-I think that I don’t want church any more. I don’t want a service or a study or really even a worship set. I don’t want it in church building, I don’t want it in a house. What I really want is a life, a rhythm of living that has space to be with people, a life that nurtures my soul and the soul of others. I can’t quite seem to achieve that.
To which Jesus replied:
Mark 12:34 When Jesus realized how insightful She was, he said, “You’re almost there, right on the border of God’s kingdom.”
Peace
Just a bunch of wrestless souls. Count me in. But eventually, we gotta get going again and do something. Oh, I know we’re all doing something, but then we fall off the wagon again. I need to kill my right-brain for a minute: Give me a break!
-Those things you think are true, but your background says are “heresy” or “worldly,” are those things really negative things — or is it just the brainwash talking?-
Rachelle - I truly enjoy reading your posts. In ten minutes, you plunge to the depths. My mental “lung” capacity keeps me struggling in the shallow area. Just really loved what you shared on the brainwashing and have danced that mental two-step several times myself. Over the years, you learn a certain way of dancing and although it often felt awkward, you made it work because that is what you learned. Years later, you see someone dancing in a different way - a way that feels much more natural. You begin to try it out - a little awkward at first; step on a few toes; pull a muscle - but then you begin to get the hang of it and you wonder how you 1)ever successfully danced the old way and 2)ever enjoyed it!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!
Wouldn’t it be great if our lives, our homes could just be so wide open and infused with Spirit, erupting in spontaneous prayer and story and revelation? I know I have a long way to go. But, I think, it’s what I’m yearning for too.
…thanx! Alot!! Very important words to ponder.
One of the reasons I went liturgical i that I wanted to formally enter in God’s presence on a more regular basis than the Sunday morning worship service. Holy days, days of obligation, daily mass - it seemed like there were a lot of opportunities. But somehow, this blogging church that I see developing more each day is giving me that sense of God’s presence, minute-by-minute.
Thanks for pastoring us here in the blogosphere Rachelle. Thanks for understanding that pastoring is a give and take relationship. Thanks for your honesty and your care.
Peace,
Karen
rock on, my friend. you’re speaking my language.
Rachelle
I love having a rhythm of life which includes having time for myself, my husband, my kids, my parents a few friends, walking, cooking, reading, musing…
What else do I need?
I would like a communal low key celebration about once a month (OMC>>Once-A-Month-Church)
This would be a community of people who are already busy doing life and loving in a variety of ways who would come together once a month for a simple ritual lasting about an hour:
I would like it to include the following:
1)Stories -Our own simple stories of loving)
2Song
3Communion
A simple ritual lasting about an hour..
that’s what I would need beside my rhythm of life..
Me too - jim
oh rachelle - that brainwashing stuff, it’s exactly where i’m wading through right now - i thought i was the only one. i didn’t want to speak it publically because it sounded so ‘heretical’ - now i feel the need to wash my brain to free it from the crap, knee jerk reactions i see in the church around me. thank you for talking about this. i’d be interested in hearing more if you’re up to blogging about it.
The church is the people, isn’t it? It was never meant, I don’t think, to be the building or the service or what have you. (I still like the traditional communion though. And baptism gives me warm fuzzies. I’d hate to see that go…) But church is us, not the study and not the worship set and definitly not the sermon.
Whew! By the time you’re done pulling a Eustace I may have to deconstruct deconstruction!
Rebecca
I *love* the dragon scale imagry. It is exhausting to shed them…but what a great relief.
Bobbie,
Re: the brainwashing thing…I think I started thinking of it that way because a friend of mine, who’s new to the Christian world, said that the evangelical church feels like a cult, and that something inside her feels sick when she gets too near to it. At first I wanted to defend the church-as-I-knew it. But the more I thought about it, the more there seemed to be a grain (or more) of truth in that statement. Because there _is_ something v. demanding w/in the evangelical tradtion which sort of covertly requires this level of adherence to a farily stringent set of beliefs….
…I can’t quite put my finger on it…defintely still trying to work it out with fear and trembling, and all that.
-Rachelle
Melissa — love the dancing metaphor..perfection!
Barbra– You posted on my blog! I feel all warm and fuzzy and blessed! Can’t wait to tell stories with you again soon. Maybe we can do communion too!
Idelette–yes! yes! yes!
Thanks everyone for posting. I really needed that today.
-Rachelle
rachelle,
your glimpses into the inworkings of your brain encourage me to tell the thoughts pinging around in my head. thank you.
the holly
adherence is it exactly - party line and all. things that i find myself saying when teaching little kids that as i’m saying it i’m thinking to myself ‘THAT’S CRAP, THAT’S NOT WHAT I BELIEVE’, things that are so engrained in my psyche they can only have come from brainwashing. fear and trembling is necessary, althought times i think some tide between my ears to just drive it all out, cleanse me - like a high colonic for my brain. i just want truth ‘in there’ - the rest of it needs to leave.