Free Write on Monday in Need of Rest
The four-year-old is on the front porch right now, shouting at the top of her lungs:
“Chocolate is the whole world!”
We just got back from Vandewater Books, and in exchange for obedience while I browsed the shelves, the children were given two way-too-big-for-a-kid milkshakes from Dick’s Drive-In. Thus the gleeful front porch hyperbole.
Vandewater’s is one of my favorite book stores. First, it is right up the street from my house. Second it has parking. (Sort of. You have to risk getting towed in the shared QFC/Hollywood Video parking lot, but it’s a pretty safe bet you’ll be okay.) Third, it has Marla, one of the nicest used books shop folks in the world. She knows her stock. She offers great suggestions. And she has a very firm belief in the fact that you should never have to justify your reading tastes. (For instance, you don’t have to read anything off Oprah’s book list – nor do you have to feel sheepishly trendy for reading something off Oprah’s book list.) Here are things I’ve recently purchased from Marla:
The Pilot’s Wife, Anita Shreve
Smilla’s Sense of Snow, Peter Hoeg
Devices and Desires, and Shroud for a Nightingale, PD James
The All-True Travels and Adventures of Lidie Newton, Jane Smiley (for my friend Margaret)
The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, Alexander McCall Smith
Blind Assassin, Margaret Attwood (I adored Alias Grace)
A History of Their Own: Women in Europe from Prehistory to Present, Anderson and Zinsser, eds.
A Room of One’s Own, Virginia Woolf
Feminist Theorists, Spender, ed
Little Altars Everywhere, Rebecca Wells
I am exploring a lot of feminist theology type stuff. It started with the Red Tent, by Anita Diamant. Then I read The Secret Life of Bees (all of it) and Dance of the Dissident Daughter, (part of it) by Sue Monk Kidd. I dipped into Proverbs of Ashes, but I really suck at reading non-fiction. So I moved instead to other books about women, and God, and finding missing truths. I read The YaYa Sisterhood with their wild cult-of-mary-creole-blend. I stumbled upon A Year of Wonders, Geraldine Brooks, about one widow, a couple of warring ministers, the plague, and a the women who could stop it (who were immediately suspected as witches — so sad.) Then I picked up The Virgin Blue, Tracy Chevalier at the airport bookstore. It was a fairly silly book, too contrived and obvious, but still the themes within it made me bumped again into places where a woman’s spiritual tendencies and the cultures current religious practice clashed tragically.
I really miss the feminine part of God. I think it got buried somewhere when men became the primary story tellers. I miss the birdsong. But I just can’t get into books on the Goddess, and things that force me to swing wide-away from my Triunal roots. I want to find a middle place, the open field that breaks between the trees and calls the nyads and dryads out to dance. There must be a place were the daughter can dance with her creator. There must be something beyond the war room, the king’s dais. There must be a place where all aspects of God call home. Somehow I think I am more likely to find it in fiction. Probably that is a simpleton’s hope.
I am sad today. I probably shouldn’t be writing. I should probably listen to Jen and buy a pint of Phishfood, or New York Superfudge chunk. I should probably join the four-year-old shouting on the front porch…or I should at least read something from Vandewater’s books.
Sigh.
By the way, I gave Marla my phone number and told her my “group of friends” who come over every Thursday night would come and help her pack up the place after she closes. I hope she takes me up on it. I hope everyone who reads this, and lives in Seattle, goes to Vandewater’s and buys some books. I hope someone takes Marla flowers. I hope people leave her notes about how much they loved a book she sold them. I hope they don’t open a Starbucks in her place. I guess, if the four-year-old is right, than I hope she gets a lot of chocolate.
Cant get the Vandewater books link to work for some reason - maybe its just me?
My family and I were attending Mars Hill Church here in Seattle, but have recently left there…could I get some info about when/where ThursPM meets?
I think the link works now. If not, it’s just vandewaterbooks.com.
Jennifer, email me at rachelle at seattlevineyard dot org and I’ll give you the soop on ThPM.
Rachelle…love that book list!
For Milk chocolate try out: Number One Ladies Dectective Agency- laugh out loud and feel good about life. Sage and sweet all at once.
Thanks for the chalk drawings. They were just what I needed. Kellybean
PS Send Marla to Portland! A haven for bookfolks.
‘I really miss the feminine part of God. I think it got buried somewhere when men became the primary story tellers. I miss the birdsong. But I just can’t get into books on the Goddess, and things that force me to swing wide-away from my Triunal roots.’ reasonates so deeply within me.
i too believe that much was lost, and i pray can be refound, redeemed. i want none of the goddess, but truly only what exists within the trinity - i long for the redemption of the feminine soul.
“I long for the redemption of the feminine soul”. Count me in as one who is searching for that without having to go through a Goddess to find it. I am waiting for 2 Sue Monk Kidd books I recently ordered to be delivered….interesting how so many are on the same journey. Thanks for your thoughts.
we should read sue monk kidd together sarah. maybe a few others will join us.
rachelle, i love the honesty in this post, but more so your heart.
i pray the whole world will care about people like marla and do so with flowers and thank yous, open door invitations and more books. i pray that you will have many companions on the journey of inviting people to live more closely connected to the tangible kindness of god.
much love to you this day, sweet friend.
“I long for the redemption of the feminine soul”. Count me in as one who is searching for that without having to go through a Goddess to find it. Me too Sarah.
“I really miss the feminine part of God.”
I miss the feminine part of God too… I also miss the masculine part of God. Not the violent, macho, oppressive, child abuser God that I grew up with. I miss TRUE masculinity. I miss God. Thank you for your wise words.
Rachelle,
I’m just getting out of my “lurking” mode and am making the effort to comment. Just wanted to say that I have enjoyed perusing your blog and scrolling through the photos on the ThPM site.
As for your book list — I love P.D. James! Her mystery novels peaked my interest in Anglicanism, particularly in its rich liturgy. I sorely miss the role of ritual in evangelical worship.
In regards to Margaret Atwood, I think you meant _Alias Grace_, the only Atwood book that I sped through and loved. _The Blind Assassin_ got a bit tedious for me.
heh heh! your right, it is “Alias Grace.” I was going from memory and even when I typed it I thought..is that right? Did you read “Robber Bride?” I like that one too. The rest I could take or leave.
If you like mysteries and Anglicanism try the Susan Howatch Novels. Not the latest two though…I don’t recommend those, too icky. But “Wonder Worker” is good. Its the first in the Nicholas Darrow series. The Jonathan Darrow series comes first, starting with “Glittering Images.” Of that series I liked the last two best, where we see Nicholas as a young man struggling to get a grip on the idea of healing and charismatic giftings. Ignore the tacky covers — they really are interesting studies on healing/charimata/tradition/psychology.
Thanks for reading my blog!
Rachelle
“I really miss the feminine part of God.” Me too. When I’m sad, Ben & Jerry’s does work wonders. It’s Chunky Monkey for me.
They’re tough, difficult, wonderfully rich: the two-part novel series by Mary Doria Russell called The Sparrow, and its sequel, Children of God. See if Marla has these–they’re a deep, rich read, and absolutely fearless in questions on theology and life. They’re loosely SF and because Russell is a cultural anthropologist by training, the alien cultures she portrays seem to truly live and breathe.
I don’t miss the feminine part of God because i am lucky enough to be married to a feminist theologian, worship in a church with a feminist theologian minister, and collaborate artistically with a (you guessed it) feminist theologian liturgical dancer/choreographer–She, so to speak, is all around me. But you are absolutely right that so much has been missed, lost, mishandled, repressed in the feminine all these years.
If I may offer some cold comfort, you are probably part of the redemption of Christianity (don’t let it go to your head! {grin}) in that your consciousness helps inform others. That said, it’s never an easy thing to be a pioneer. Jen Lemen’s hint at a community (”companions”) sounds like a good idea.
Grace,
Peter
Me again. Rachelle, I sense that Vanderwater is closing out from what you wrote, yet can’t find a specific mention of it there or on their website. Is Marla closing up shop? We have one last indie bookstore here in Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada–the Northern Woman’s Bookstore, and we literally don’t know what we’d do without it. We have the Starbuck’s “alternative”, lnown as Chapters up here–no thanks…
Also, I respectfully ask permission to share your Birdsong posting with our online spirituality group, the Springs Family. We’re based in Thunder Bay and Toronto and all of us are struggling with “accepted” theology and how we experience God. Birdsong would be a splendid thing to share.
Thanks, either way,
Peter
Peter,
By all means use Birdsong! Thanks!
Yes, Vandewater is closing. They just haven’t updated the website.
Rachelle
Thank you for Birdsong! Maybe we in Springs Family can share some of our musings, though i’m the only one of us blogging right now…
Oh dear–I hope Seattle has at least one other indie bookshop and that Marla and company are supported, even in closing, by their community (sounds very hopeful that way).
Thanks, and peace,
P.