Things I read today that had relevance…
From Sue Monk Kidd, Dance of the Dissident Daughter
“The myth of Philomela….While traveling to see her sister, Philomela was raped by her brother-in-law, Tereus. Outraged, she threatened to tell her sister and the world what he’d done to her. He responded by cutting out her tongue and banishing her to a guarded tower where she was forced to live in silence.
Eventually, though she seemed to know that if she continued to be silent she would die. So Philomela began to weave a series of tapestries that became her voice and told her story. She then enlisted an old woman to take them to her sister, who came and liberated her.
The myth is about the loss of women’s voices. It suggested that the source of female silence is the rape of the feminine—the devaluation and violation of femaleness. It suggests that when women protest this violation, their voices are frequently squelched through ridicule, sanction, and fear of reprisal. In the public area, at church, work, and home, women’s tongues are often silenced when we dare to speak our anger, truths, and visions.”
‘women’s tongues are often silenced when we dare to speak our anger, truths, and visions’
this is me.
I can see how that dynamic can be at work. However, I wonder if using terms like “rape” to refer to situations that make you feel bad is an insult to those who have been raped in the literal sense. I know you’re just quoting Kidd, but I am seeing this appropriation of strong words more and more. Mom always reminded me that it’s the kids in Africa that are “starving,” not fat little me after not eating for four hours.
Thanks for sharing the myth. It’s interesting to think about to what extent that second level of meaning was present in the original, and how it remains so relevant today.
i hear what you’re saying, justin, but having spent serious time with women in both situations (actual rape/figurative silencing)–they’re both that violent to the soul and both end in a kind of death in your spirit. the women i’ve known recognize that silence (whatver the source) and respect each other for how ever they’ve arrived at that painful spot.
i think if we could take that figurative silencing just as seriously as actual rape, we might have the level of alarm/sorrow/anguish needed to really consider what’s happening to women today in the church (emerging church included). it would be emergency meeting material.
the extemeness of the terms are meant to jolt us and it’s always a pity when they fall short of that goal. we need to have our sense of responsibility awakened; without it, too many women continue to be silenced–maybe because of us!
yikes, right? i don’t want to be like this and i’m sure you don’t either. i guess that means we have to sit with the ugliness and heaviness of the words and what they can mean in reality.
peace to you. sorry to rant.
:)
Hi Rachelle!
Long time, no see…
Hope you are well. Just saying hi. Nothing profound to contribute… this time =)
peace.
Kevin
I think that, as Jen says, it is necessary to use sometimes inflammatory language to help us understand the gravity of certain situations. I have personal experience with literal, as well as metaphorical, rape and I do not believe it is an overstatement, or an insult, to use this word to describe violence toward the feminine. It’s an apt word. I do, however, see the concept of the rape of the feminine as something that can happen to men as well. This interview with Bishop Gene Robinson and Rabbi Steve Greenberg, both gay men, addresses what I’m talking about. I think that this quote from Rabbi Greenberg is especially important:
“As the position of women in the world rises to something close to parity with men, as equality becomes more evident, it’s less and less clear what is wrong with homosexuality because homophobia is one small room in the larger hotel of misogyny and, fundamentally, the hatred of women is behind the threat of homosexuality. Men, who behave in any way like women are seen as a threat to the patriarchy which is in process of being reframed, reformed, and maybe even dissolving. It is so important to ask that question.”
Peace,
Karen H.+
Sorry, the HTML didn’t show up. Here’s the link to the article I referenced for anyone who’s interested.
http://www.episcopalnews.com/ViewArchiveArticle.php?key=59
Karen H.+
as someone who has been physically raped, and silenced, both by the shame/secrets and by the church i can attest to the fact that secrets and silencing are just as scarring as the act of rape itself. it told me that there was nothing worth hearing going on in my head or my soul. that i was less than because of my genetailia. no one, especially god was even interested.
“the source of female silence is the rape of the feminine—the devaluation and violation of femaleness, their voices are frequently squelched through ridicule, sanction, and fear of reprisal.” i can’t agree more. philomena is my new patron saint. i pray my blog weaves my tapestry to both liberate myself and my fellow sisters who have suffered in silence.
I just want to thank the women for thier comments on this posting. There is a weightiness to these words that you’ve written that seems meaty and worthy and significant. I am very honored to have heard them.
Rachelle
This is really good.
I want to share something I read in my devotional this morning, by Chung Hyun Kyung, which helped me to realize how ingrained is this blindedness to our –albeit passive participation in a heirarchy of injustice. Here is something from her address to the Seventh World Council of Churches Assembly in Canberra, Australia in 1991:
“With humble heart and body, let us listen to the cries of creation and the cries of the Spirit within it.
Come. The spirit of Hagar, Egyptian, black slave woman exploited and abandoned by Abraham and Sarah, the ancestors of our faith.
Come. The spirit of Uriah, loyal soldier sent and killed on the battlefield by the great King David out of the king’s greed for Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba.
Come. The spirit of Jephthah’s daughter, the victim of her father’s faith, burnt to death for her father’s promise to God if he were to win the war.
Come. The spirit of male babies killed by the soldiers of King Herod upon Jesus’ birth.
Come. The spirit of Joan of Arc and of the many other women burnt at the ‘witch trials’ throughout the medieval era.
Come. The spirit of the people who died during the Crusades.
Come. The spirit of indigenous people of the Earth, victims of genocide during the time of colonialism and the period of great Christian mission to the pagan world.
Come. The spirit of Jewish people killed in the gas chambers during the Holocaust.
Come. The spirit of people killed in Hiroshima and Nagasaki by atomic bombs.
Come. The spirit of Korean women in the Japanese “prostitution army” during World War II, used and torn by violence-hungry soldiers.
Come. The spirit of Vietnamese people killed by Napalm, Agent orange or hunger on the drifting boats.
Come. The spirit of Mahatma Ghandi, Steve Biko, Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Victor Jara, Oscar Romero and many unnamed women freedom fighters who died in the struggle for liberation of their people.
Come the Spirit of people smashed by tanks in Kwangju, Tianamen Square and Lithuanea.
Come. The spirit of the Amazon rain forest now being murdered every day.
Come. The spirit of Earth, Air, and Water, raped, tortured, and exploited by human greed for money.
Come. The spirit of soldiers, civilians and sea creatures now dying in wars.
Come. The spirit of the Liberator, our brother Jesus, tortured and killed on the cross.”
Perhaps a little intense for an adress to an assembly of churches, but I admire her for invoking the oppressed while at the same time, beginning her prayer with some examples of oppressed and abused people whose perspectives we ignore while instead focusing on the ‘fathers of our faith’, the very act of which, has keptvoices silent. I think we need to watch whose doing the talking even in our own faith stories, and readjust that so that we leave room for the stories of Hagar, Uriah, and others who were abused by the ‘fathers of our faith’.
I am awed by the strength of Voice here… Every word we speak helps shatter the forced Silence. I just really really believe that.
I am trying to find the Way in speaking where I am not invited and not losing my voice. Beginning to recognize that I allow my voice to be silenced through lack of invitation. And yet to speak might mean to be branded as a crazy women, one who does not know her place. I long to speak from Obedience, and yet, I also desire to speak because someone longs to hear my voice. What are the tapestries that tell my story?
I love this quote - thanks. I have been hearing the voices in my head that tell me to shut the hell up a lot this week, so I needed to read this.
And Anj - I’ve spent years waiting to be invited to speak myself. I think I’ve finally figured out that no such invitation will be forthcoming. I guess we need to weave our own tapestries and tell our own stories.
dj just told me of an audio blogger service (free) where you can make a phonecall, read a post and have it uploaded to your blog. i wonder if finding our own original ways to offer our stories and our voices (and do so together) might do our souls some good? what do you think?
jen,
call me. lets see if we can set up some sort of group blog for women’s voices….even if it’s just a temporary exercise.
would anybody be interested in that? a place to tell our stories? and would there need to be an anonymous option? (i’m thinking of women who can’t tell thier stories w/o threatening their place in the institutional church and things like that…e.g. bobbie’s blog.)
r
Rachelle, linked to you again today as part of “worst”. I’ll keep watching to see how the tapestry may be woven.
“Sounds” like a good idea. Interestingly enough, I found myself a little intimidated by the whole idea of pouring voice into this medium. Written words feel somehow safer. But then again, I was gonna go on a ride called the “Hellevator” tonight (we were in the line-up for 20 minutes and still had a good 40 minutes to go when I had to go comfort my girl); recording our voices should be a way more meaningful thrill.
it wouldn’t have to be devoted to just our sad stories. we could talk about everything that moves us. sometimes being passionate out loud feels unwelcomed, too, since we have such a cultural value on the reasoned perspective.
Yes, Jen. I agree!
I am amazed and fascinated as I read these comments and realize that other women are finding their voices right alongside me. I feel as if I have stumbled upon a treasure in the darkness, which is something I have been promised and yet have found too hard to believe. And here it is in this genre of written word. Stories are powerful but only if they are told. Let me restate that. Stories are powerful for GOOD only if they are told. Left to fester inside they have the power to increase the darkness and continue to isolate the storyteller. I encourage each of us to tell our stories. In the past two years I have begun to find my voice and it has been both frightening and freeing. The underlying repercussions have been both physical and psychological as I continue to fight the demons that would tell me that I have overspoken or that noone really wants to hear this voice. But I will continue to speak, though I, too, prefer to be invited.
ah kindred souls - i will gladly participate in any ‘finding of our voices’ - whether verbal or written, both positive and negative. i think the truth needs to be told. i am so suprised though that the males have not commented here - are they not reading, or are they silent, or are they disagreeing in silence? i believe this dialog needs to happen in the public square, it is really important if the future church is going to look any different than what we’ve left behind.