- I have been to church on Sunday two weeks in a row! Last week I preached at Quest. I really liked how the worship there focused on adoring God rather than on our own requests for stuff. That was v. refreshing for me.

-This week I went to see the new digs of my pal Rose Swetman, who co-pastors the Vineyard Community Church with her husband, Rich. They’ve built a community center/church. Even though I don’t know many folks there, it’s always v. welcoming. Rich spoke this week and he said something that stuck with me. He was comparing “running the race” with Lance Armstrong’s year long training for the Tour de France. He said something like, “The thing … {read more…}

I have been on this journey for a long time.

I have only pastored for three years. I have only cooked soup at ThPM for one. But this dream has lived within me for more than a decade, since I woke up in the middle of the night in dreamlike Louisiana with a fire burning in my throat.

So if I sometimes seem a little angsty, there is reason. This life we are trying to carve out right now, it’s long invested.

You know what I think is funny? ThPM is more comfortable with being organic than I am. There are few people that squirm a little when we don’t know what we’re doing, but for the most part everyone … {read more…}

I am so off to Barnes and Nobel to buy this book! (I tried to put the little picture off Amazon onto my blog, but it was all fuzzy. How do people do that?)

I’ve been on a book buying freeze because of budgetary limitations. But….Quest Church gave me a BIG gift certificate to Barnes and Nobel, just for preaching there last Sunday. (It always surprises me when people basically pay me to write.) So woo hoo! Bookstore extravaganza!

Not that I’ve finished the big stack I bought at Vandwater’s or anything. (She grins sheepishly). I just really need some permission to not freak out about my kids.

See, I do this thing with my friend Heather where … {read more…}

This is lovingly referred to as the Josh and T Memorial Fridge. (Although Josh and Tonya are very much alive, so maybe “memorial” is the wrong word.) Josh and T are tremendous friends. They understand how hard it is to take kids out during the witching hour (dinner to bed) so they haul their butts over here several times a week. The girls call Josh “the human jungle gym.” They wait for us to see the latest comic-book movie even though they are dying to see it opening weekend. (Josh says if they go with anyone else they’ll be “movie whores.”) This weekend, on his only day off, Josh came over with the truck … {read more…}

- a 3×3 foot chalk drawing in shades of pink

- a city of clay animals with cars and no parking signs

- several pages in the Strawberry Shortcake coloring book

- several pages in the Anti-Coloring Book

- two storybook theatre plays. “Little Pink Riding Hood” and “The Three Pigs” (”Catie! Now your the first little pig, Flora. Show you’re Flora by jumping. ” [Catie jumps] “Now you’re the second little pig, Merri. Show you’re Merri by spinning around.” [Catie spins] etc.)

- two brand new song-and-dance number about 1) “God, the invisible thing that is in charge of everything” and 2) “Aliens might exisit, but you don’t have to worry, oh no no no.” These were complete with costume changes.

- a newly … {read more…}

And maybe this is really quandary number two. The thing is, I get paid to do this thing called pastoring. Moreover, I’m not paid by some distant organization or some benevolent set of “supporters.” I am actually paid by the 15 people who sit in my dinning room on Thursday nights. This is very weird to me. Me, the one with the husband who works for Microsoft and the six bedroom house and (this year anyway) a trip to Hawaii, gets paid by the crew in my living room. (‘Course, this arrangement is why we are actually able to meet in the living room….mortgages, utility bills, etc. Do you have any idea what the waste-and-heating bill is on a … {read more…}

I am very angsty about our little group, ThPM. I really really like the people in ThPM, and I really really like having everyone over each week. (I wrote something a few weeks back that caused someone to think otherwise….so I want to be very clear about this….I LIKE Y’ALL.) I doubt anyone else is this angsty, so probably I should just chill out. But I can’t. I’ve felt stuck for a long time and in the past month it’s really come to a head.

You see, half of ThPM really likes just hanging out. They like coming for dinner and talking about this or that and then rolling home when they feel like it. The other half likes the hanging out and dinner part, but they are also looking for something more intentionally spiritual. They’d like something that is distinctly worshipful, or explicitly soul-crafty.

None of us wants to live compartmentalized lives—to draw a line around one set of activities and call it “spiritual” and a line around another and call it “regular life.” I think we’d all like all of this stuff to be regular life. It’s just some of us need a little more order, a more regular rhythm to feel secure. Sort of “Life in ordinary time—with intention.”

And me? Which end of this spectrum do I fall on? That’s exactly the problem. I can easily land in either group on any given day. Some days I say things like, “All I care about is how people are doing with God and how people are doing with folks in the Real World. (We’ll call these “Jim Days” because the last time I talked to him I was in this space.) On other days I say things like, “I just want the house to be open and people to swing by and the fridge to be full of beer.” (We’ll call these “Josh Days, because he pointed out to me that is what he always hears me saying I care about.) But I can’t seem to find away to let the Jim Days and the Josh Days live together. So there’s quandary number one.
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Here’s the rest of my sermon. It’s pretty long. I actually ditched the story about Lauren because of time. (By the way, all the names in this are changed. I hope my friend “Lauren” doesn’t read this and think I’m wierd. Hopfully she’ll see the core of what I’m trying to say. That it’s nice to travel together.)

I haven’t preached for over a year, so I was a bit rusty. I do like sitting on a stool and talking into a mic though. I just don’t want to have to do it every week. I just don’t have that much to say, you know? And I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing…though I’m less afraid than I used to … {read more…}

Here’s a sermon I’m working on for Quest this weekend. Eguene Cho is on sabbatical this summer and he’s asked an long string of subs to come in and speak on “something from your heart.” This is the rough draft of the first half.

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I love Bono. I realize that I am getting old. And that this love of a 44 year old rock star may sound vaguely pathetic to anyone under 30. My best friend, her dad is a musician, and he still buys tickets to Rolling Stones concerts, which I secretly think is so pathetic. But here I am, adoring a band whose debut came out in the 80’s. I mean come on, that’s two … {read more…}

I haven’t been blogging much lately. I’ve been functioning with a migraine for the past five days or so. I have chronic migraines — sometimes every day for months. Some days it’s not too bad. Other days I’m awash in pain (from the migraine) and dizziness (from the drugs). It’s 9:40 am and my head is already a thick gray wad of pain. This is not a good sign. And I’m taking my darling six-year-old back to school shopping today with her grandmother. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through it.

I thought I’d check in on the blogging world, maybe peek at my email, but now I wish I hadn’t. It’s probably just the pain speaking, but it … {read more…}